Christmas is just around the corner. In popular images, the holidays are portrayed as a time of joy and togetherness. Yet, this is not the reality for many people. The festive season can instead be a challenging and emotionally complex time. Family dynamics, loneliness, financial strain, and heightened expectations can make Christmas feel less like a celebration and more like a source of tension and stress.
Christmas Can Be Difficult
For some, spending more time with family during the holidays can be distressing due to overt conflict, bubbling tensions or other resentments. For others, particularly those who are estranged from their families or who have lost loved ones, Christmas can feel isolating and serve as a painful reminder of absence and grief. For others, Christmas just never lives up to expectations.
The season often brings other added pressures, such as attending social events, balancing work and personal commitments, and managing financial obligations like buying gifts or hosting gatherings. It can be exhausting.
Understanding Christmas Stress
The demands of the Christmas period can affect the body and mind in predictable ways. Increased arousal and difficulty switching off because of increased mental load, fatigue, irritability, sadness, worry or withdrawal. Hopefully these experiences will settle once Christmas is over.
In the meantime, you may consider some ways to cope and find calm during this busy time.
Coping Strategies for the Festive Season
- Set Realistic Expectations
There are lots of different ways to celebrate Christmas in Australia, and sometimes the best celebrations and gifts are simple and inexpensive. If you have high expectations of others and this creates conflict, check yourself. What are you expecting of yourself or others? Is it helpful? Is it realistic? What would it be like to modify – or lower – your expectations? How much would this matter?
Of course this might not be completely within your control, but what is within your control? Having realistic expectations will hopefully reduce disappointment and increase your sense of ease.
- Establish Boundaries
The pressure to create an “ideal” Christmas can lead you to overcommit. Whether it’s hosting elaborate meals, attending every social event, or overspending on gifts. Research shows that gift-giving can cause anxiety, as gift-givers worry about recipients’ reactions (Wooten, 2000). By setting clear boundaries—such as limiting social commitments or sticking to a budget—you can manage holiday responsibilities without overwhelming yourself.
The same is true for relationships with people you find difficult and demanding, these can be people whom you don’t see at other times of the year. Consider where, how and when you see them, or perhaps limit how much you share of yourself.
- Take Moments of Quiet and Calm When You Can
With the busy-ness of this time of year, it can be difficult to squeeze in the things that help you feel good and centred.
But looking after yourself doesn’t need to be an elaborate ritual involving day spas and massage (but of course that’s great if you can!). It can be as simple as paying attention to your breath, noticing the sensation of your back against the chair and considering what you can see, hear, touch, taste or smell. It might also be taking five minutes longer with your cup of tea or recalling the good things in your life. You might also plan ahead and think about the good things you are looking forward to.
- Identify Triggers and Plan Ahead
Where you can, try to create a plan to minimise the impact of stressors. For example, if complex family dynamics cause tension, consider celebrating with friends instead of finding ways to limit time spent in challenging environments.
Anticipating potential triggers and strategizing in advance can empower you to navigate the season more smoothly.
Christmas can be a time of celebration and an opportunity to connect with loved ones. However, it can also be stressful and challenging for a whole range of reasons. Christmas can also be a mixture of both good and bad, pleasurable in some moments and difficult in others. Challenge yourself to bring the gift of compromise, patience and kindness – towards both oneself and towards others.
References
Wooten, D.B. (2000). Qualitative steps toward an expanded model of anxiety in gift-giving. Journal of Consumer Research, 27(1), 84–95. https://doi.org/10.1086/314310
