Loneliness is an emotional experience caused by a perceived lack of intimacy with other people or ourselves and you don’t necessarily need to be alone to feel lonely, you can feel lonely even when in a room full of people. For some people, loneliness can be extremely painful, but for others, solitude is actually sought out because of its restorative properties.
If you are feeling lonely, ironically, you are not alone. In two national Australian surveys run in 2018 and 2019 one in four Australians (age12-89) reported problematic levels of loneliness. Since COVID-19 this has increased to one in two Australians reporting feeling lonely (Lim et al. 2020).
Because humans are innately social beings, it is thought that loneliness signals a need to connect meaningfully with others and it’s the quality of relationship that’s important rather than the quantity of friends which will combat loneliness.
With loneliness found to have numerous negative effects on both physical and mental health, it’s important to understand that there are things you can do to overcome loneliness.
Here are some tips suggested to help you enjoy better interactions and fend off the loneliness.
1. Cast a different light on it.
Time alone can rejuvenate. It can be time for self-discovery, self-reflection and creative thought. Next time the feelings of loneliness surface, try to sit with the feeling and see what comes… pop on your favourite mood boosting music or podcast, cook a healthy meal, pick up a paint brush or take a long hot bath! You might find you enjoy your own company more than you think!
2. Stay connected.
If you can’t be with your loved ones for whatever reason, even just a short 10 minute phone call can help ease loneliness.
3. Find like minded people.
There are people out there that enjoy similar things to you, the challenge will be finding them! Meetup is a good option. It’s a free online meeting hub that brings people together who have similar interests.
6. Volunteer! Even better: Volunteer outdoors!
Volunteering is a great way to meet new people and why not volunteer to do something outdoors? Time in nature can help (Hammoud et.al. 2021) ease emotional distress and boost your overall wellness. Govolunteer.com.au is a great place to start.
7. Quality over quantity.
Simply spending time with others won’t necessarily relieve loneliness, that’s why you may still feel lonely even when you are at a party surrounded by people. Sometimes you just need a quiet night in with a close friend connecting on a deeper, more meaningful level by sharing personal experiences, perfecting the fine art of listening and talking about things that matter.
8. Stop Scrolling!
While it may seem like social media keeps us connected to our friends and family, it can sometimes increase our feelings of loneliness. It can present a false sense that everyone is having a wonderful time without you but this of course is never the actual reality. So consider closing the apps and maybe making a quick call or text instead.
9. And, finally it might help to remember that the feeling of loneliness won’t last forever. It will pass but sometimes it takes a little effort and time. If you really get stuck, talk to someone you trust. Chances are they will be able to relate to you!
References
Lim, M. L. G., Thurston, L., Argent, T., Eres, R., Lambert, G., Qualter, P., … & Holt-Lunstad, J. (2020). Survey of health and wellbeing—Monitoring the impact of COVID-19. Swinburne University of Technology: Melbourne, Australia. https://www.swinburne.edu.au/media/swinburneeduau/research-institutes/iverson-health/Loneliness-in-COVID-19-15-07-20_final.pdf
Hammoud, R., Tognin, S., Bakolis, I. et al. Lonely in a crowd: investigating the association between overcrowding and loneliness using smartphone technologies. Sci Rep 11, 24134 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-03398-2
